ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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