Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
