You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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