Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
