You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
we're making bets on your personal life
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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