Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
