See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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