In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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