Umm I'm too high to move.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
