Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
