I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
