I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
