At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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