Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
