Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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