I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Randomize
