remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
