Texts From Last Night

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  (231): View more from Michigan

  My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.

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  (231): My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride. http://tfl.nu/hbyc
  Replies (22) Good night (704) Bad night (4260) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors

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  (402): I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors http://tfl.nu/ajt6
  Replies (8) Good night (4887) Bad night (479) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"

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  (201): You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here" http://tfl.nu/hp38
  Replies (18) Good night (6831) Bad night (575) Order T-Shirt
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.

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  (416): The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife. http://tfl.nu/rajf
  Replies (20) Good night (1224) Bad night (4335) Order T-Shirt
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs

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  (618): You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs http://tfl.nu/0h2n
  Replies (6) Good night (3327) Bad night (831) Order T-Shirt
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid

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  (306): How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid http://tfl.nu/1mq4
  Replies (9) Good night (914) Bad night (4427) Order T-Shirt
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  (850): View more from Florida

  it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday

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  (850): it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday http://tfl.nu/fl8q
  Replies (2) Good night (3051) Bad night (722) Order T-Shirt
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.

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  (770): I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried. http://tfl.nu/6wir
  Replies (7) Good night (964) Bad night (2932) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?

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  (919): Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill? http://tfl.nu/kp4x
  Replies (7) Good night (2028) Bad night (786) Order T-Shirt
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.

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  (780): I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it. http://tfl.nu/t2hy
  Replies (12) Good night (1776) Bad night (538) Order T-Shirt
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.

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  (440): Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved. http://tfl.nu/v30q
  Replies (3) Good night (1525) Bad night (365)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...

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  (816): I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility (910): well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is... http://tfl.nu/9yjx
  Replies (5) Good night (1542) Bad night (542)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.

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  (770): My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways. http://tfl.nu/0awx
  Replies (4) Good night (432) Bad night (608)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.

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  (780): I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall. http://tfl.nu/azun
  Replies (5) Good night (560) Bad night (440) Order T-Shirt
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb

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  (309): Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb http://tfl.nu/q450
  Replies (1) Good night (552) Bad night (204) Order T-Shirt

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