I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Semen is not good for contacts.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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