Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude

  (1-970): View more from Colorado

  You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Shut the hell up.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude (1-970): You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ? (970): Shut the hell up. http://tfl.nu/g01x
  Replies (38) Good night (950) Bad night (2044)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (713): Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight http://tfl.nu/37pc
  Replies (22) Good night (817) Bad night (2456)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  we were pretty classy up until the second keg

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): we were pretty classy up until the second keg http://tfl.nu/du30
  Replies (12) Good night (4668) Bad night (789)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (520): just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF http://tfl.nu/k653
  Replies (19) Good night (893) Bad night (4000)
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (224): It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat' http://tfl.nu/0g9k
  Replies (12) Good night (1515) Bad night (4018)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show? http://tfl.nu/56pk
  Replies (28) Good night (4257) Bad night (2326)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place. http://tfl.nu/p2sn
  Replies (4) Good night (1806) Bad night (785)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces http://tfl.nu/5di3
  Replies (8) Good night (932) Bad night (483)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (616): I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time http://tfl.nu/iio9
  Replies (1) Good night (761) Bad night (348)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (812): My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out. http://tfl.nu/0i9m
  Replies (5) Good night (550) Bad night (675)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing http://tfl.nu/hqjw
  Replies (2) Good night (721) Bad night (353)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again http://tfl.nu/339h
  Replies (1) Good night (732) Bad night (285)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (605): No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives. http://tfl.nu/8dyn
  Replies (2) Good night (439) Bad night (727)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (515): Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her. http://tfl.nu/0xnp
  Replies (3) Good night (386) Bad night (842)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (515): as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale http://tfl.nu/139w
  Replies (4) Good night (371) Bad night (110)

Randomize