ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
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