she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag