Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
