Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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