too bad you live with your parents still
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize