so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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