What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
