What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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