Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize