I want to walk on stilts...naked
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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