check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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