He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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