can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
