How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
