Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
