that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I think people are normalizing furries
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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