That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
