summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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