sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
