they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
