I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
