is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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