i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
