I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Randomize
