she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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