Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
