While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
