I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
