Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize