If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
