Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
