is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize