Well apparently he's into motor boating.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
