honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
