does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
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I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
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We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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