What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
