Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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