I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
