when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
