I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I need a beard to bite.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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