so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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