saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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