Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
