I haven't been this sober since birth.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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