O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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