Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
