is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Naked Twister starts at high noon
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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